One region, two brave explorers, one aim... to get the hell out of Plymouth for two weeks!
May 21, 2006
So scotish of us
Scotland...
One region, two brave explorers, one aim... to get the hell out of Plymouth for two weeks!
One region, two brave explorers, one aim... to get the hell out of Plymouth for two weeks!
The truth is drunk
Warning!
The post bellow was written under the influence of alchool but should still be taken seriously since it portrays the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... and god shave the queen!
The post bellow was written under the influence of alchool but should still be taken seriously since it portrays the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... and god shave the queen!
Grrrrrls
Rick - Apparently there are two different main types of girls that reside in Plymouth. The first is the good looking, yet poorly dressed and slutty one. The second is the fat homely one, that in most other countries would have a great personality, but here in England... just seems to be even more bitchy than the rest. Someone please pass the Quaaludes to the women here.
Tonight, we hit up two bars. First was the Weatherspoons in the barbican area. In this bar, it was more of the good looking women that tend to think that they weight about 10 kilos less than they do. It's not that they're overweight, they just tend to think they're a size 8 when they're really at 12. Like Rui stated tonight, "if you can't walk becuase your clothes are too tight... you can't wear them anymore." Amen.
The second bar we hit up was Zeros. It seemed to be invaded by a plethora of ginormous girls with even more ginormous attitudes. We got trapped for a while downstairs, and watching all the fat girls stream down the stairs was like watching one of the cattle drive scenes from "City Slickers." I don't want to sound mean, but if they weren't such nasty pieces of work, I wouldn't even give them a second thought. It's the fact that they've got 8 tons of Bitch with a capital B-isnatch, that really gets my goat.
The best part of looking at the women here tonight was that this will be my last weekend here in Plymouth. No longer will I have to see their short mini-skirts paired with the fugly Uggs boots (complete with tree-trunk legs) or lack of an ass in their low cut jeans.
Like Kylie sang, "I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky lucky...."
Tonight, we hit up two bars. First was the Weatherspoons in the barbican area. In this bar, it was more of the good looking women that tend to think that they weight about 10 kilos less than they do. It's not that they're overweight, they just tend to think they're a size 8 when they're really at 12. Like Rui stated tonight, "if you can't walk becuase your clothes are too tight... you can't wear them anymore." Amen.
The second bar we hit up was Zeros. It seemed to be invaded by a plethora of ginormous girls with even more ginormous attitudes. We got trapped for a while downstairs, and watching all the fat girls stream down the stairs was like watching one of the cattle drive scenes from "City Slickers." I don't want to sound mean, but if they weren't such nasty pieces of work, I wouldn't even give them a second thought. It's the fact that they've got 8 tons of Bitch with a capital B-isnatch, that really gets my goat.
The best part of looking at the women here tonight was that this will be my last weekend here in Plymouth. No longer will I have to see their short mini-skirts paired with the fugly Uggs boots (complete with tree-trunk legs) or lack of an ass in their low cut jeans.
Like Kylie sang, "I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky lucky...."
May 17, 2006
Sorry, Didn't Mean to Glance
Rick - As I was walking home from the City Centre the other day, which I fondly refer to as the Shitty Centre, I happened to walk by the spot where local crazies seem to congregate. If you missed my previous post about the psychos of Plymouth, you can read it here.
As I wandered in front of Hein Gericke Power Ranger Costume ...er... Motorcycle Clothing shop, I saw a guy that appeared to be speaking on his mobile phone. I thought perhaps he had a cool Blue Tooth headset, so I glanced at his ears to see it. Only problem was... no headset.
I hurriedly looked away, but was too slow. He'd spotted me looking at him. He glared at me, and as we walked closer to each other, he says loudly, "don't look at us!" Us?!? Was I missing someone? A cursory glance tells me no. Now normally, this kind of weirdness is reserved for special characters in films like Gollum/Smeagol, but not here in Plymouth. It's given out freely to the masses. It's like they sit down and eat a big bowl of Barking Mad Porridge in the morning or something.
I hate this crazy-ass town.
As I wandered in front of Hein Gericke Power Ranger Costume ...er... Motorcycle Clothing shop, I saw a guy that appeared to be speaking on his mobile phone. I thought perhaps he had a cool Blue Tooth headset, so I glanced at his ears to see it. Only problem was... no headset.
I hurriedly looked away, but was too slow. He'd spotted me looking at him. He glared at me, and as we walked closer to each other, he says loudly, "don't look at us!" Us?!? Was I missing someone? A cursory glance tells me no. Now normally, this kind of weirdness is reserved for special characters in films like Gollum/Smeagol, but not here in Plymouth. It's given out freely to the masses. It's like they sit down and eat a big bowl of Barking Mad Porridge in the morning or something.
I hate this crazy-ass town.
How to put the system Six Feet Under us
1. Go to a Virgin store somewhere in the end of the world (i.e. Plymouth)
2. Start looking around for some DVDs.
3. Eventually luck strikes and you find one DVD of the first season of Six Feet Under for 19.99.
4. You realize it is the only one for that price, since the other DVDs of the same season cost 34.99.
5. You take 2 seconds to realize that they made a mistake in the sticker.
6. Using all the goodness within you, you do the right thing and you don't tell anyone.
7. You grab the DVD and take it to the counter.
8. You remember that you have your "Virgin addict" card complete, which entitles you to a 10 pound discount.
9. You reach the counter, the employer starts registring and realizes something is wrong with the price.
10. You stay quiet.
11. They realize that it was their mistake and allow the payment.
12. Total= 19.99-10= 9.99
13. Since you used the Virgin card and spent 10 pounds on the purchase you just did (which gives you one stamp on the card), you ask for a new card.
13. You start making a devious plan on what cheap DVD to buy next time.
And this is how you get a DVD costing 34.99 pounds and a new discount card for 9.99 pounds!!!
Ps - The US price is 99.98 dollars... check it on the HBO site.
2. Start looking around for some DVDs.
3. Eventually luck strikes and you find one DVD of the first season of Six Feet Under for 19.99.
4. You realize it is the only one for that price, since the other DVDs of the same season cost 34.99.
5. You take 2 seconds to realize that they made a mistake in the sticker.
6. Using all the goodness within you, you do the right thing and you don't tell anyone.
7. You grab the DVD and take it to the counter.
8. You remember that you have your "Virgin addict" card complete, which entitles you to a 10 pound discount.
9. You reach the counter, the employer starts registring and realizes something is wrong with the price.
10. You stay quiet.
11. They realize that it was their mistake and allow the payment.
12. Total= 19.99-10= 9.99
13. Since you used the Virgin card and spent 10 pounds on the purchase you just did (which gives you one stamp on the card), you ask for a new card.
13. You start making a devious plan on what cheap DVD to buy next time.
And this is how you get a DVD costing 34.99 pounds and a new discount card for 9.99 pounds!!!
Ps - The US price is 99.98 dollars... check it on the HBO site.
May 14, 2006
Cultural experience gone awry...
Dear diary.
When you move into a new country and the experience turns you into a worse person, is it your fault or the country's fault?
I wonder...
Photo by Rick
When you move into a new country and the experience turns you into a worse person, is it your fault or the country's fault?
I wonder...
Photo by Rick
May 08, 2006
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - part 2
Dear diary.
Today I called someone a snatchy bitch for the first time.
Does that mean I am transforming into an American?
I wonder...
Today I called someone a snatchy bitch for the first time.
Does that mean I am transforming into an American?
I wonder...
May 06, 2006
May 03, 2006
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