Shopping Trip

I went shopping for groceries and stuff this afternoon.

Started by buying a new comic. No, I'm not a nerd. I'm cool. You losers just don't understand, even though you should realize it more than anyone. You'll never be accepted, just like the heros in the comics.... although they're heroes, while you're losers. Oh yeah, you're fat and ugly too, so no one wants to see you in super hero spandex. Wankers.

Then, I totally went over to Sainsburys for groceries. They've redesigned the store. I'd give it a 6 out of 10. Practicality rules the day, while aesthetics is still sorely lacking. Couldn't Todd Oldham start designing grocery store interiors? Anyway, I squeeled like a little girl because they increased their amounts of organic food ten fold. Seriously, my nipples got all hard and were chafing on my shirt because I was so overjoyed. You'd never know what this feels like, because you've never been touched by another human being, and even the baboons at the zoo with the blue noses and hemerhoids oozing out of their asses wouldn't touch you with a rotten banana.

While I was shopping, I saw this ginormous fat lady buying more chocolate digestives. I told her, "Jesus, lady. Don't you think you need to lay off the carbs? Shouldn't you just strain brine shrimp through your teeth like the other fat wales do? And how did you evolve enough to walk upright on land? Survival of the fittest, my ass! That Darwin was full of crap." She cried. What a cry baby. Maybe her salty tears reminded her of the Atlantic Ocean where she originally came from.

Okay, I'm off to read my comic and work on a pedicure. Toodles. I'm totes (that's short for "totally," isn't that hot?) gonna be nerdy cute while doing both. Cuter than your ugly faces every will be... bitches!!